It's not bad enough they want all our money when a marriage ends, now they want "rights" while they're still married!
QUOTE
The Wife's Bill of Rights
By Jill Adler
Amendment I
We have the right to dislike your buddies.
Amendment II
We have the right to experience PMS in all its glory.
Amendment III
We have the right to demand you finish a household job.
Amendment IV
We have the right to an honest answer to "What's wrong?"
Amendment V
We have the right to keep our secrets.
Amendment VI
We have the right to clean air.
Amendment VII
We have the right to keep and bear tons of girly bathroom products.
Amendment VIII
We have the right to speak to our girlfriends every day.
Amendment IX
We have the right to flirt.
Amendment X
We have the right to foreplay.
source
By Jill Adler
Amendment I
We have the right to dislike your buddies.
Amendment II
We have the right to experience PMS in all its glory.
Amendment III
We have the right to demand you finish a household job.
Amendment IV
We have the right to an honest answer to "What's wrong?"
Amendment V
We have the right to keep our secrets.
Amendment VI
We have the right to clean air.
Amendment VII
We have the right to keep and bear tons of girly bathroom products.
Amendment VIII
We have the right to speak to our girlfriends every day.
Amendment IX
We have the right to flirt.
Amendment X
We have the right to foreplay.
source
The irony here is that...other than #2, maybe #3, and possibly #6, each of these applies equally to men. Well, almost. The inverse of #7 and #10 would be true for men. So, to set the record straight, here is the "Husband's Bill of Rights."
Amendment I
We reserve the right to dislike your cackling, shrewish friends.
Amendment II
We reserve the right to avoid your grouchy ass when you're experiencing "PMS in all its glory."
Amendment III
We reserve the right to relax after working all day. We'll put the damn shelf up later when the game's over.
Amendment IV
If you expect us to just know what the hell is wrong with your moody ass all the time, then isn't it fair that you use the same non-existent psychic abilities on us and quit nagging?
Amendment V
You can have your secrets, but so can we. Don't whine and plead until we tell you and then stay pissed at us forever once you know. If you don't want to know, don't beg for it.
Amendment VI
We also reserve the right to breathe clean air. If you don't want me farting, then cut back on the scented lotions, hair shit, perfumes, etc, etc. Sometimes I'd rather smell the toxins coming from my ass than the overpowering stench of all your girly products.
Amendment VII
We reserve the right to spend some of our money too. You may have the right to buy a ton of expensive, useless makeup, hair products, shoes, purses and other shit, but you've gotta give some ground. Our toys may cost a little more, but we buy a hell of a lot less of them.
Amendment VIII
We reserve the right to not overhear your conversation. We really don't care who you "speak to everyday." But do it when we're not around.
Amendment IX
We reserve the right to check out the chick in the itty-bitty skirt at the mall. You go right head and flirt, we don't want to talk to the lovely creatures around us - we just want to enjoy the scenery without being nagged about it.
Amendment X
We have the right to go to sleep when we're done. Why the hell do you have to have foreplay and "cuddling" afterward? Gimme, gimme, gimme...that's all we ever hear.
Women! Can't live with them, can't bury them in the backyard.
