She may not be quite as long in the tooth as ol' Granny Locklear (Halle is only 42 this year), but I defy Dirty Dan to find beach photos of Halle Berry not looking gorgeous.


Yes, I realize these aren't bikini photos. I just mention the bikini angle because Dan's a bastard.

Halle has Christina Aguilera's dilemma: a new baby and more milk than she knows what to do with. If she needs someone to help her out, I'll take one for the team.

Who the fuck is Dan?

He's that little hobbit dude running around here destroying my old lady fantasies.

Mmmm, I like chocolate milk!